Great, now I find out I wasn’t supposed to go to the Concha y Toro winery — just outside of Santiago, Chile — because it’s considered “wine for dummies” (I don’t know, I thought the wine was quite good myself), and, instead, I should have trekked to the Casablanca or Colchagua valleys to sample the country’s best wines.

For a few more tips, this week Matador’s continuing their “What NOT to Do in . . .” with Chile, a country where, according to #9, you’re not supposed to try to speak the language (well, you can try, you’re just probably going to be unsuccessful), or eat the salmon (#8 — it contains antibiotics and dyes banned in many other countries).

My own “Don’t Do,” you ask? Don’t schedule your visit there on the tail end of another trip (ahem). With over 2,600 miles from one end to the other, ranging from temperate, desert-like conditions in the North; the Mediterranean vibe in the central region; to the cool, Patagonian region in the South, the country’s way to diverse to pack in during a few days. (Why didn’t I take this advice? Oh yeah, ran out of vacation days.)