Should I Wash My Underwear While Traveling? Answer: No!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Let’s face it, we travelers put up with a lot of aggravation on the road: lost baggage, missing passports, loud hostels, etc. . . . And we see a lot of things that bother us around the world: obnoxious tourists, environmental degradation, the plight of the world’s poor. But there’s one thing that annoys us the most, and which is constantly on our minds. Yes, I’m talking about your underwear. How many times have you, midway through your trip, with nary a laundry machine to be had, thought to yourself, “I wish I didn’t have to change my underwear so darn often!”

Well, you are in luck, for our nation’s best and brightest scientists, chemical engineers, microbiologists, and PHD-toting eggheads have put aside some time (finally!) from their — let’s face it, kind of fruitless — endeavors such as finding a cure for HIV/AIDS, solving economic disparity, and addressing climate change, and finally tackled that age-old world issue: the irritation of changing your underwear.

I introduce to you the Give-N-Go underwear from ExOficio: the world’s first underwear that does not need to be washed (very often). To you, the intrepid traveler, who asks, “Why do I need to change my underwear so often?”, ExOficio says, “Don’t!”

These space-age undies’ tag line, in Draper-esque fashion are: “17 countries. 6 Weeks. One pair of underwear. Okay, maybe two.” But we know they really mean one, right? A look at their package reveals what exactly these bad boys do: “[Give-N-Go’s are] high performance and low maintenance. Treated with Aegis Microbe Shield they’re odor resistant and perfect for tricky climates and active adventures.” Please, no more selling is necessary. You had me at the words “Microbe Shield.”

And forget the Parisian runways, this line of underwear (and I’m not making this up) is advertised as being both “field tested and approved” by the African Wildlife Foundation, an organization you may not have realized was so intimately involved in the world of haute coutre.

But let’s not take their word for it, let’s take a look at some of the (incredibly) non-anonymous customer reviews left on the underwear’s Amazon page (And for those keeping score, there were 28 five-star, one four-star, and only one one-star reviews).

One very proud owner remarked, “You can live on two pairs of these — wash one at night, wear the other. Wrap it in a towel, stomp dry — should be ready in a few hours.” And here you’ve just been using your towel for your body all this time.

And how about this astonished user: “Care for this item is almost too simple. I wash mine in the bathroom sink with a very small amount of detergent and hang dry for a few hours and they are ready to go again.” Oh to be that bathroom-goer lucky enough to get to use that sink right after him. (Well, at least he said he uses detergent.)

And finally, where there’s a happy underwear wearer, there’s a happy mom. This from a proud mother who got her entire family in on the act: “This item was purchased for my son who was traveling to another country. He thanked me so much upon his return. He was with a group that was camping for several weeks and said this boxer brief was the most comfortable to wear, the most convenient to launder and quickest to dry. I then purchased one for another son who travels; he agrees.” It’s stories like these that get recounted during funeral eulogies and around the buffet table at wakes by bereaved children; this mother has certainly fulfilled her parental duties.

© 2018