If You Were An Airliner, Which Would You Be?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


If you hadn’t noticed, JetBlue recently introduced a redesign of their site, dispensing with the overload of graphics and vibrant colors, and limiting the amount of text on the home page. They also introduced a new script-based dropdown navigation menu (fancy!) and put a new emphasis on their frequent flier program TrueBlue.

Personally, JetBlue can do no wrong for me. They could slap a sheet of scratch-and-sniff stickers on the back of their seats and advertise it as their new in-flight entertainment center, and I’d spend the the flight with my nose glued to the headrest enjoying every minute.

Of course, as most people who spend any time flying know, JetBlue is by far the only American airliner sitting at the cool-kid table (over there in the corner with Singapore Air and Virgin). Which got me thinking, if you had to assign a destination to the airliners, which would they be?

Here we go, my (slightly offensive) list of airliners and their respective cities/states:

Southwest Airlines: San Francisco (penchant for changing the rules, carefree attitude, annoying habit of wearing shorts for all occasions).

Delta: Delaware (kind of plain, hard to remember whether you spent any time there).

Ryanair: Las Vegas (they’ll try anything to get another dollar out of you, disregard for societal norms, very likely to encounter nudity).

Quantas: Indiana (extremely safe, need to travel far to get practically anywhere of note).

Frontier Airlines: Utah (not afraid to wear pictures of animals on its exterior; really, really white).

Virgin Airlines: New Orleans (party atmosphere, tends to be populated by inebriated people).

AirTran Airways: Sioux Falls (budget-friendly, you know you’ve heard of it but haven’t ever seen it and don’t know where it is).

China Airlines: Detroit (dubious safety record, high fatality rate).

JetBlue: Brooklyn (design-oriented, really into their personal web site, most-likely to dispense advice on coffee).

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