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* Disclaimer: TheExpeditioner.com hereby takes no responsibility for your imprisonment or diplomatic incident you cause as a result of mimicking any of the following actions described in this article.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

As a writer I think I’ve acquired some questionable thought patterns. Where my mind used to say, “That’s illegal, so don’t do it.” It now says, “Do it. If you get arrested in a foreign country, it’ll be a great story and you’ll have something to write about other than the hostel’s relaxed atmosphere.”<\/p>\n

Being mostly ignorant of England’s laws, I’m not exactly sure as to the legality or illegality of what I did. I started to lean towards illegal when the first Brit I approached told me, “You can’t do that! It’s a criminal offense<\/em> to do that! Especially don’t do it in front of the poppers (British for police).”<\/p>\n

But I think this guy was being a bit of a worry-wort. Or as the British say, an old fuddy duddy. I think what I was doing could fall into a moral or legal gray area than an actual criminal offense. Everyone else I approached was either apathetically uninterested in what I was offering, or enthusiastically hailed me as a hero. In any case, what I did earned me some serious poundage.<\/p>\n

Let’s be clear. I was not<\/em> “________” (insert whatever lewd act you have been thinking I was doing here).<\/p>\n

Here’s what actually happened.<\/p>\n

I always arrive at airports hours too early because I am paranoid that some unforeseen event (like the second coming of Christ or some other biblical event) will delay me. So before flying to London I had plenty of time to browse the duty-free store in the Guatemala City airport. Though I myself am a non-smoker, I was surprised to see cartons of cigarettes being sold for $10 a carton. I vaguely remembered a British guy complaining once about how outrageously expensive cigarettes are in U.K.<\/p>\n

Faster than the London bridge came falling down, my mind arrived at an idea: Purchase five ridiculously cheap cartons of cigarettes and then sell them on the streets of London for a huge markup.<\/p>\n

So I sold cigarettes. When I arrived in London, I came not as a tourist, but as a cigarette peddler. As I walked the famous streets, checking out the sites, I kept my eye out for smokers. Like a drug dealer looking for clients, I sized up everyone I walked past wondering. Is he a smoker? Is she a smoker? Are they smokers? Should I offer them cartons of cigarettes?<\/em><\/p>\n

Perhaps the saying should go: When in Rome, do as the Romans; When in London, sell cigarettes and make a bundle of cash.<\/p>\n

Selling cigarettes soon became more than just a way to offset costs. It was a reason to start up conversations with strangers. A way to socialize. I became, “The Cigarette Guy,” off-loading cigarettes that cost $8 in London for $4 a pack. Enthusiastic addicts everywhere wanted in on it.<\/p>\n

By the early evening I had sold all of my cigarettes. As I handed over my last eight packs in exchange for 30 pounds, I felt a bit sad. I was no longer L’homme Avec Les Cigarettes<\/em>, but just another tourist in London. I began to crave cigarettes. I wanted more. Not to smoke. I had become an cigarette sales addict.<\/p>\n

I write this the morning after a 40-hour stint in London. In a half-hour I need to figure out how to get to the airport where I will fly to Prague. I just Googled the price of cigarettes in Prague, and unfortunately for me (but fortunate for the country’s thrifty addicts), they go for far less than in London. So as I go onwards, L’homme Avec Les Cigarettes<\/em> will remain behind me. But I will be as interested as anyone to find out what will mark Prague as memorable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

* Disclaimer: TheExpeditioner.com hereby takes no responsibility for your imprisonment or diplomatic incident you cause as a result of mimicking any of the following actions described in this article. As a writer I think I’ve acquired some questionable thought patterns. Where my mind used to say, “That’s illegal, so don’t do it.” It now says, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6232,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,2576,2562,2573],"tags":[62,63,1428],"yoast_head":"\n